haha...
erm HI FRENs, erm...i have moved...erm..to here.
*giggles*

Todae met up with Peter for the last meeting - lunch.
and he sure was gleefully happy upon receiving his farewell gift.



and presenting a handsome picture of him....
*droooooooools*
any girls want to know him?



but oh so sorry...
Peter is back down under to continue his studies and work there and would only be back in one year's time..
*geesh*
so u girls...would just have to wait patiently k? =)

and how can the entry end with no picture taken of me and him!!!!



and ah yar...i did the stupid thing again...my fringe "grew" VERY much shorter... =(

.......................things will still light up like before, cos i never wanted to change.

It ws totally a lazy morning for me to just wake up considering i slept only at 6am after a HUGE conversation that went on for an hr plus and later on the phone for another 15mins..and another half hr plus for shower...*sulks*...but eventually the brain decided not to rest and woke up at ard 10am plus....

Then not long later...
TAH DAH!!!
AH FAT IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





and we gave her toy to play but.........



and she is soooooooooooooooooo obedient, they left her sitting on the floor while i just went ahead and did my things online and see what we found out she was doing...



then while everyone was eating...where is Kendra?



and while i was having my lunch...
she come ka jiao....



hehehe...
then later faster got changed ard 4pm((yar yar i stated time le! hahaha))
and went to meet Peter to go to his friend's place for gathering...and turned out all i also know or we have seen each other before! hahahaha...

and then night came and he went to meet Raymond they all while i headed home...just tired..and tried to do my present but FAILED badly...*sigH* will take my weekend or so to burn it up and do it nicely. =)

and that was like the weekend..
simple and nice.

........yar, how fast time flies by.
the night just ended like that..
in a blink of an eye and hours of meet up...
sometimes i wonder why time cannot be longer on CERTAIN days?
then again when ur mood is dwn u just wish d world would go by so that you can lead on to another day.

was chancing on Rach and Angela's blogs earlier..
talking abt friends that they eliminate some people that they use to call as "frieNDs" r no longer their "friendS"
that brought abt thoughts going thru my mind as well...
.
.
.
.
gazillion a times u can be close with a person and then later losing touch with them and suddenly that so-called friendship came back upon either:
(1) by chance
(2) by effort to meet each other...
there are gazillions reasons why the friendship was being stRained at a certain point...could be cos of marriage? or a relationship(how some ppl try to toggle hard btwn frens and boyfren while some makes it SO EASY) or no time? work? family issues to handle? and then list can goes on and on but is there always a need to explain to this friend or that friend "why the no contact season took place"?

read many blogs before stating this person hate tat person(same goes for me) and would sae "who in the hell would wanna be their friends?! its like so doh!!!" but then again i sit and question,

if this person was THIS BAD then why do they have such nice friends around?

thats i conjunc that, not everyone in this world can accept every other person in their world and vice versa. thats why they sae "all humans are unique in their own ways" which i think is true. lets take me, i hated this girl so very much....super ultra is like wanna kill her on her every fake HI to me or any CONVERSATION she TRIES to have with me and always thinking there must be something evil behind her back? and when the whole big HOO HA was over, we chatted..of cos initially i was CAUTION with my words and actions cos i dun wan to be enemies with her for no reason again, since we met BY CHANCE. and who noes, we are talking to each other almost every day...consoling me abt the whole hauntings i have with Chris..telling and sharing me her side of her life and all..its just simple and nice.

then did i realise that one should not be so entangled with the evil things in a person so much cos each individual person also have their plus points for them to be getting good and close friends and also getting married to THE ONE that one day.

back to the friendship, i had this best gerfren name Meihua.
i NEVER was able to meet up with her as much as i want cos our time schedule always clashed.
but after knowing her since i was in yr1...(or issit yr2) the friendship NEVER ended...we could be not meeting each other for like 7mths plus? and when we meet? the same old us got back to poly days and we sat comfortably on telling each other ANYTHING and i could depend on her for ANYTHING...and i meant ANYTHING. We never got to speak more than 5mins on the phone at times....but we always rememebr that we had this special friendship bond in us....and this, is what i cherish more than to meet up with friends or tok online or wadsoever the so-called BEST FRIEND...

i haf a best friend...i haf a buddy...i haf great galfrends and i have great guyfriends...
and they are all great, cos its a beautiful thing that all of us from different background, different walks of life enter into our lives and be part of it with us...

its nice..
simply nice...

so went to get changed and all...



anyway okay, gg back, i met up with Pris today after a WHOLE big delay in our meeting..
*geesh*
objective : repair my n80 and also to the flea market to see our Blythe's clothings...




and then we headed to far east for lunch...and its KFC! muahaha..finally i got to eat it without the watchful eyes to make sure i cannot eat(cos i am still sick wad...) giggles.....and then we walked ard Far East to find that alot of things can b found on Taiwan Spree...*faint*...and its SOOO MUCH CHEAPER can! *double fainT*

got a call and Biaojie was coming down to meet us to go to the flea market as well...
whooppieeeeeeeeee....

then we went to the care centre, onli to realise i did not have any WARRENTY CARD nor RECIEPT to prove when my phone was being bought..argh..waste my time and there goes ME having to use this bloody N80 default software system...for i duno HOW LONG MORE! *sulks*

then our eyes caught onto this...



GORGEOUS!!! but then i dun like the pink as much as pris loves it...i would remain my "black casing" if there is...then again i doubt i would wan another Nokia Phone again...*bitten toooo many a times le...*

then Biaojie called and we headed to meet her...



walked walked and off we are heading to the flea market near cine there!
and its liek surprisingly so nice she took a PROPER pic with me!!
*winkz*



But later opted to take another querky one............
and i joined in...
hahaha...



finally after my "consultant" gave him his views(which did not help) it ended up with ME being that thrifty to get them clothes, ended up with two sets for $24!!! *giggles*....

met up with peter and realise his cousin is my friend(junior) as well! muahaha...when i saw them i was like

AYE WHY U HERE AR?!

and when i saw his galfren she is ultra pretty can!
*faint*
baby doll eyes!
and then she was also like shock that "aye its her.."
hahaha..

how small this world is of i tell you...
*faint*

then headed back and dressed up the girls...took many but only got one here lar.
hahaha..



and also showing u pris dolls as well...
she did her blythe the eye can close...erm..i duno i wan cos i also duno why must close..maybe take pic nicer?
*weird*
somehow i would wait for that to happen cos for now Triky(yeah got tat name on her instead) will remain as wad she is..



while she was talking i was like busy playing with the doll and then to realise her legs can be bent!
and only only once but twice!!!!



arghhhhhhhhhh...hahaha..how dumb me n pris can be lo.
muahahaha.....
and peter wanted to try bending her hand!
wth!
*slap forehead*

then ard 11 plus headed out and met up with some friends(new) at a pub in outrum.
it was erm...empty and somehow reminded me of the place that i went with "the family" back at tanjong pagar...*sigh...missing the old days then...

and anyway, then i had RIBENA served to me!
muahaha..
first time i drank Ribena can!
hahahaa..
its just so farnie lo hahaha...
then later followed by warm water and then ended with Tiger beer(and i duno hw ppl can drink Tiger..its sooo much more gassy than Heineken!)...eekish.
wanted to sing but waitid and felt bored so din wan sing but ended up singing "wo xi huan" by liang jing ru...ultra nice i sing okay! cos sing finish A and his friends clapped for me...muahahhaa...honoured wor! muahahhaaa...*bows dwn and so shy*

took some querky pics but waiting for the pics to be sent to me..cos it was in my gf camera...
it was like "come take pic" and the next time i turn my head a camera was flashed infront of me!
haha..and oh yar..ermmm i made a big mistake by cutting my fringe ULTRA short and abit weird.
*sulks*
i nd to pin it up le..
wth man...

anyway ended the night at home with tears and conversations..
i thought it would GO WELL and d outcome was OKAY but then...........
*sigh*
i duno ar...i duno...

just wanna slp away...

.........leave my emo alone pls..

YES I AM SO DAMN BORED!!!
Thrown alone to be bored at home....
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

*sulks*sulks*sulks*sulks*sulks*sulks*sulks*sulks*sulks*sulks*sulks*
*sulks*sulks*sulks*sulks*sulks*sulks*sulks*sulks*sulks*sulks*
*sulks*sulks*sulks*sulks*sulks*sulks*sulks*sulks*sulks*
*sulks*sulks*sulks*sulks*sulks*sulks*sulks*sulks*
*sulks*sulks*sulks*sulks*sulks*sulks*sulks*
*sulks*sulks*sulks*sulks*sulks*sulks*
*sulks*sulks*sulks*sulks*sulks*
*sulks*sulks*sulks*sulks*
*sulks*sulks*sulks*
*sulks*sulks*
*sulks*
.
.
.
.
.
anyway, come come..i show you how hiao Peter is...
and oh okay...i was ai-mei as well...
*giggles*



**yawn....**
its somehow like IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND ME HOME ON A FRIDAY NIGHT CAN!!
but i so am at home..
my eye is stil swollen and ivan told me to see the doctor but i am afraid...
wait they sae have to dig out my eyes how!?
SO CANNOT LO!!
*shakes head profusely*
...so i shall sulk at home for now...
.
.
.
.
learning how to sing BaoBei(in the night) by Desert Xuan...
yar stupid thing is u canot find anything much on her online..just THIS SONG which is famous.
-______-"

and just when i was abt to doze off into dreamland i found this on YOUTUBE!
arghh...
i so want to buy it lo...
*looks around for a buyer to buy for me*



and while scoping..i found this video uber farnie...
hahaha..
duno why, i simply thinks Elmo so cuteee...

i guess i did lose alot of myself lately...
and i have to make a decision when i wake up tmr morning...
.
.
.
.
.
wanted to share this with u all as well...
i got an sms from my love and i think its so true...

Anyway it was a very importatnt lesson. A relationship is acceptance of all faults of the other person. We can NEVER change teh other person or should ever try to change, he will have to change himself with own willingness. Question is if he doesn't change, can you accept it? A workable relationship means you can accept. If u can't, then yeah, very hard to progress too fast. In fact, there is no need to start a relationship to get to know the other party first. Bringing a person to meet the parents too early will cause more pain on ALL party if it doesn't work out. Keep the initial part of relationship strictly to two of you first, until sure already then involve him gradually with the family. That's more fair to everyone. Also never stay together unless to the point of sure married, or else physical cloesness will make goodbye even more painful. Hope you will exercise more restain on your next relationship. Yes communicate and meet often, just don't stay together, don't invovlve the family too early. Relationship is not auto-pilot. It needs to be guided and effort to keep the sails up in the righ direction. Never about nice feeling or bad feelings. Feelings is acutally the small part. Listen to that inner wisdom to guide you, you usualy already know the best thing to do even before you start thinking.

*phew*
what an ultra long SMS lo..
but yes...that was sent to me in the form of SMS....
*smiles*

Good nite...

I hoped the morning would be fine.
I woke up with a horrible headache...and my right eye just swell badly.
*sigh*
.
.
.
.
i am still unable to accept and recollect whatever that is being told to me and i should do and think.
all just went blank.
showered and tried to take a pic of my swollen eyes...


left the house at 8.50am feeling horrible in the eye...
waited for less than a min and fel pek chek but luckily swift came...
*phew*
was totally in a daze...i guess its also because of the lack of sleep that i had earlier.
all just fall OUT of place...
but then.........

Dear...see RIBENA!
Drink Ribena then will be happy already!

ha...
it sure made a smile on my face, cos that was what i told Leon d day before yesterday when we went drinking.
ha...
drank it, not really much happy..

sigh...been on and off my work.
eyes hurt so badly.
and mentally and emotionally i am feeling so lost already...
sigh...

its tiring..
and yar...this particular friend his MSN keeps going ON and OFF and ON and OFF is super irritating cos the box will opo up(and i nd tat opo up bocos i noe who comes online in my office)..i think i going to head home earlier..the eyes are killing me.

i dun wan to see anyone...

The usual thing at work....
After work went to meet Er at Raffles Place there...
FINALLY PASSED Him the clothes but...

Me: nah...this is the ones i ordered for u in Taiwan Spree

Er: ah...hmm.orh...thanks..

Me: why?

Er: er....nah the...the pictures abit cartoon.

Me: *heart broken* then throw it away lar...

Sigh...
then called up Ryan and took a short cab trip down to find him at his outlet.
Working so hard...*giggles*
and who knows, Paul was also there!
muahahaha...

Ended up Paul walked me down to Toxxic and not long later Raymond came by after his work! *giggles*...ordered our dinner...

Me: what food do u serve?

Waitress: u wan wad also have..

Me: do u have seafood horfun?

Waitress: yar.. have.

and soon enuff a packet came by.
muahahahaa...
then ate ate...
played 5-10 and this guy i call him TWENTY cos everytime when the lady shouts 20! he sure kana one.. hahaha....and then hear them sing...sigh...my turn to sing is like taking FOREVER...tats why i hate going to pub n sing..nah bei one..haf to wait so long...

So some images to tag along...



headed home early but it was not early enough for some people.
argument rose...
words spoken...
it crashed me deeply.

my eye swell like a goldfish.
i sure hope my morning would be a good one...
it has to be...

Geeeeeeeeeesh...
Woke up to find myself LUM NUA...
Went to see the doctor at Jp... concluded i had STRESS TENSION HEADACHE and not MIGRAINE..*Phew*...sometimes i think i really one of a kind lo..always wan to make me sound like i have migraine and that its fun feeling so...*slap forhead*...

Was yakking away while Peter chose to ignore me and this the conversation we had...

Me: aye...tok to me and stop reading ur pprs lar...

P: Hmmmmmm..u sick leh...then must act all the way wad...

Me: Oh yar hoh...sigh...okay lar..dun tok... *sulks*

P: Oh okay okay....how are u? u okay? need me to "fu" u or not?

SLAP FOREHEAD!!!

then headed to get the car and went to Outrum and find his teacher n friends...
YET another day of ZI BEI-ness..
all sing so god darn well..
*faint*
but Laoshi said this that super made my day, whether true or not i dun care!
hahaha..


muahahahaa..
YEAH YEAH YEAH!
i think he is considering going back already.
*giggles...*
and yeah, first time for everything always...
SO TOTALLY FOR THIS NIGHT...at 6pm i seeing blurry visions already...
*slap forehead* hahaha...anyway, some pics i took there...




and you thought that was the end?
*shake head*
headed to Tiong Bahru in a half goner state and bought a birthday cake....
then headed dwn to Telok Ayer Street for another round of singing and beer(oh not me...i just drank my warm water...)..took some pics(hmmmm will upload when i get them)..

headed home half goner and half not goner...
*geeshie*

a day of laughter and smiles...
just something i need to get my mind off work and life...
so needed this...

but it was not seen on the other part...

anyway, i tihnk there is no more room left to speak i presume...
and anyway, tis was a pic that Chris sent to me.
so cute but messy lar..
*giggles*

Waited for Danny to come while Peter got stucked in the traffic jam...
Ended up the delay was SOOOO LONG...*due to IMF* so we only had our dinner like 8.45pm @ Maxwell Market...**SULKS** but the Ou Jian is FABULOUS!!!!

*giggles*

then went to KBox at Cine and met up with Leon n Joyce...
*WOOSH*
They are my OU XIANG lo...
I have never heard a gal can sing Shan Hu Hai PERFECTLY but Joyce did lo!
*faint*
.
.
.
.
and amature me go and sing...
stupid lar..
only to find out later they are champions one!
*faint*
how to sing with such people???
hahaha..actually no lar..they are just awesome people but paiseh to sing with such people around only lar...**GIGGLES**

Ended the night being GIAN to step back into the Singing Sessions again...
Then again, i am broke so cannot anyhow spend...
It was just nice...so nice...back to old life...back to where i smile and sae i am happy...


I sure hope i am...

Weekend....
Isnt' that what EVERYONE jus looks forward too...
I did look forward to mine. wasnt ALL FANTASTIC but i think it was just good enough for me to smile and say "its a nice weekend i had...."

After the Friday dinner with Pris on the catch up session and all...was online for awhile then went on to sleep peacefully........


Woke up on a Saturday morning trying to find someone to accompany me to go and repair my phone. Ended up went to meet up with Peter since he is back from Aus for holiday....

*ENVIOUS* ((I WANNA LIVE THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!))

Seriously, i think being away does helps in building a better relationship with the parents and also appreciating life more? *sulks*...

Anyway, after much discussion, headed down to the market opposite Tanglin Sec...but only to find out the shop we wanted to eat the Satay Beehoon is gone! argh!! so we settled for Mee Pok, since he had the crave for it...

**peter is going to kill me for all these images! hahahaa...


Then headed to West Coast for some coffee..
See this pic is totally artistic...*taken by me of cos*
...u can see the dog that is adorably cute!!!
can see part of Peter and finally can see what we are drinking.
muahahaa...


then later took a train dwn to AMK and then a cab of $5.00 to ave 3 for crab!!!
**YUMMY**






then later headed to Karen's place...


only one word to describe...WOW! WOW! WOW!
Gosh!
my dream house can!!! $66k on renovation!
so enviousssssssssssssssss....
n the farnie thing always is her hubby...he like trying to imitate her in serving us drinks while we all jus relax in the hall on that wonderful sofa and watching on his LCD BRAVIA TV...WOosihe! SHIOK!!!


While Samuel Korkor was busily yakking to us nonstop to play some game with him -_________________-"...then Christine sent me off and it was DVD TIME!!! but i fell aslp by 2am plus...ultra tired and somewhere with my "auntie" come...it tire me more...

SUnday time, woke up at 12pm
(got dragged out!...stupid)


wanted to eat at Bedok Blk 85 but when reach there then realise that the place there is like deserted twn in the morning. muahahaha...then collected a special cake....in newspapers loads...this is the writeup i found online (cant seem to find their website...or do they have one in the first place?)

Lifestyle - Taste
Yummy cakes at your doorstep
Kuek Lin
993 words
10 September 2006
Straits Times
English
(c) 2006 Singapore Press Holdings Limited
Heartland bakeries are on the rise, and their offerings are as good as those in town

FORGET traipsing into town to pick up a hotel-quality cake - these days, something delicious is bound to be cooking closer to home.

Bakeries are popping up in neighbourhoods across the island, and the quality of their offerings really takes the cake.

One such place is Baker's Creations in Woodlands. With its unassuming heartland setting, it is easy to walk past, perhaps noting: 'Hmm, this place looks cleaner and brighter than any other.'

But if you don't venture inside, you've probably missed one of the best Western-style carrot cakes you will ever taste.

Baker's Creations is just one of many small-scale businesses that have come up lately, making it easy for nearby residents to pick up a cake for dessert.

Some of the ones LifeStyle visited recently include Pine Garden's Cake, Choc-a-bloc, Balmoral Bakery and Rich And Good Cake Shop.

'It is great because I don't have to travel all the way to town to get cakes that taste this good,' says credit control officer Ajax Wui, 27, who lives in Bedok North, near Choc-a-bloc.

However, some of the bakeries have now made such a name for themselves that customers with a cake craving will drive across the island just for a gooey gateaux or so.

Ms Florence Lau, 37, an administrative executive who lives in the western part of Singapore, will take a 20-minute drive all the way to Kandahar Street in Bugis just for a couple of Rich And Good Cake Shop's durian rolls.

She says: 'They are not like the fanciful cakes you find in hotels, but they taste just as good, and are good value for money. For just $12, you can get two rolls and you can feed the entire family.'

Operators of such heartland bakeries say the relatively lower rents go a long way in reducing overheads and that helps to keep prices competitive.

Family business Pine Garden's Cake, now run by Mr Wei Chan, 34, says it has no intention of launching a franchise, despite its strong reputation among the residents of Ang Mo Kio.

'All we want to do is to focus on giving our customers the best quality. Many of our customers grew up with us; this place holds a special meaning for them.'

Heartlander Wang Mun See, 41, a piano teacher who lives in Jurong East, says these smaller bakeries have the upper hand because they are able to custom-make their cakes, and that creates loyal followers.

Baker's Creations is looking at opening a second branch in the heartlands - this time in Yishun.

Co-owner Eric Chan says winning over the residents is the key to success.

'It is through word-of-mouth that you become popular,' he quips.

Cream of the crop

Pine Garden's Cake Ang Mo Kio Avenue 10, Block 529, 01-2369, tel: 6457-6159, website: www.pgcake.com

OWNER Wei Chan says with a laugh: 'We are one of your crazy heartland bakeries that imports premium ingredients from Europe and the United States.'

This family-inherited bakery comes up with two new lines of cakes each year, constantly whetting the appetite of customers.

Prices: $30 to $35 for 1kg of cake; cupcakes at $2.50 each.

Must-try: The Black Forest Cake ($32/kg) is to die for.

Choc-a-bloc Bedok North Street 4, Block 86, 01-179, tel: 6446-6096, website: www.chocabloc.biz

THIS bakery, run by cousins Jeremy Goh, 32, and Jonathan Sim (left), 30, imports its chocolate from Belgium, home of good chocolate. No wonder it has the best fudge cake around.

Cakes can be made to order too, so you can have fun dreaming up anything your heart might desire.

Prices: $28 to $42 for 1 to 1.2kg, depending on flavour.

Must-try: Mum's choco-fudge cake ($28/kg). Once you've sunk your teeth into this beautiful creation, you'll want it every day.

Rich And Good Cake Shop 24 Kandahar Street, tel: 6294-3324

THIS shop isn't in the heartlands, but it's still not where you'd expect to get such delicious durian swiss rolls. Customers come from the far ends of the island to buy them.

The bakery is now in its 16th year of business. Owner Lily Liu, 63, plans to pass on the shop to her children, in true heartlander fashion.

Prices: $10 to $12 for a box of two swiss rolls.

Must-try: Durian swiss rolls, of course. Made with real D-24 durians, you can taste the durian fibre as you bite into it.

Baker's Creations Woodlands Street 31, Block 303, 01-201, tel: 6363-0123

OWNED by brothers Stanley and Eric Chan (top right), both in their 40s.

This bakery is an example of a heartland bakery that is particular about the quality of its wares. The brothers have never resorted to price wars with competitors. They have no need to do so - the quality of their cakes speaks for itself.

Prices: $16 to 30 for 1kg, depending on type and flavour.

Must-try: Amazingly, the premium carrot cake in this shop is only $20 for 700g. Not to be missed.

Balmoral Bakery Clementi Street 12, Block 105, 01-06, tel: 6779-2064

THE family-run business started in 1965, and is popular with many residents living in the area.

Some of its cakes have an English touch. This is because recipes for them were given to the owners by an English cook who was stationed in Singapore during the 1960s. The chicken pies are also worth a try.
Prices: $22 to 32 for 1kg, depending on type and flavour.

Must-try: Its three-dimensional cakes not only taste good, but also keep children intrigued for hours.
aint sure how GOOD it was since it was never ordered for me!
shall see when any KIND SOULS is free to buy and deliver to my house for me to try it k? *winkz*

then later went to have lunch at Bedok Central...
nothing much...many stalls change there so settled for wanton mee...
not too bad eh...~

went to Bugis n walked around then met up with Tecky and complain non-stop...
ended up wanting to buy my Barbie clothes but cos Tecky came late!
SO...NO MORE!
SOLD OUT!
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh...damn the person who bought it... =(
then walked around...
went to Bugis Village...

then Tecky had to go and meet his friends so i took a train to Tiong Bahru and walked around myself shopping...and ME being ANGR!!!...i splurge on a pair of heels...*sulks* ...4inch...i simply LOVE IT! just waiting for a chance to wear it only...muahaha...

then walked around..
talked with bestie on the phone and the batt went flat on me...
nah beh!
i so wan to kill my N80 now!
always dying on me!!!
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...okok my fault, its time to upgrade my software i noe..my fault...*sulks*...

Parents came n picked me up to go my grands place...
TWO WEEKS din go le...
A NEW TV appeared in the corner of the room...
the maid is change from "ti-ya" to "a-ni"...
hmmmmmmmm..how fast time flies..."ti-ya" been with the family for 2yrs and its time foR her to go back...how sad. sometimes i really pity these maids ar...*sigh*

Okay that is my new top and my high-heels(4inch) is on the last image.. hahaha..
its soo big amelia could wear as a dress can! muahaha..and she was sooo happy trying out my clothing.. hahaha...




anyway, then Peter picked me up and we decided to go Tiong Bahru...
*winkz*
and while waiting for him to buy the food over...


and here is the happy Peter...
hahaha...


then we headed to Cine but the show was only at 11.40pm!!
so i wanted to buy my dong dong....BUT the stupid machine ran out of coins!
*sulks*
then we walked to STARBUCKS and TAH DAH! i have 3 gold coins after Peter went to get drinks!
*YEAH*

and....ran back to Cine (okay we din run lar..hahaa... cos my skirt will fly here n there then i will zao geng lar..hahaa..) and tah dah!!


Sigh...i wasn't looking forward into getting this but somehow everytime when i play dong dong and feel that i would get that item instead of another, it always happens... =( so anyway, then i should be happy ma....so i name her...PINKPINK! hahaha..

then we headed to the new cinema at level 9...
not bad...quite stylo milo de wor...

and so we watch PULSE....i THOUGHT it was going to be scary BUT ended up i was mostly just staring at the screen and waiting for something MORE exciting...with the ending a BIG QUESTION MARK...i din like the show at all...but was NOT BAD lar...but somehow its either:

(1) i am not afraid of ghost n scary show

(2) i think the SCARY ghost show i watch are nothing more than the usual scary faces and walking ppl ard...-___________-"

While in d car i was asking Peter this question:


Time and again, i meet new people, and time and again i haf to be indulge in "knowing the friend better and only then realising wth their characters are there of...so NOT WHAT THEY ARE WHEN WE ALL FIRST MET"...seriously, why is that so? why cant NORMAL GUYS and NORMAL GIRLS just be themselves? dun nd to act ar...not talking abt being rude or wad but just being THEMSELVES and not acting like ONE PERSON and then being another as time went by?

*sigh*

i really really really wonder what i have experienced lately is the truth or just part of a lie?

SO so...
went shopping for Sunday's clothes and she sure cant fit into it cos its tooo big!
arghhh...
i duno to be angry or happy cos she still looks nice just that it needs some alteration thats all eh....

Cracking my head to think of a name for the girl in black..
And oh...those who duno...the other is called Sunday(oh yar i mentioned it above le hahaha...)
*sulks*
i have no clue wad to name her!!!

well anyway, finally i took all of them out and started snapping shots of themm..
*winKz*
now i am pondering on what clothes to get THE GIRL IN BLACK HAIR to wear this weekend on the flea spree..
*sulks*
its so farnie..cos the Boo! and Sweetie would also be going and they are like having so much richer owners to be buying them loads of clothes but i think the fate of my girls are just like me...*sulks*
i would upload the images soon...cos i realise i left it in the office computer instead. hahaha.. sori ar hehee..

After a setback one would sit and whine about why that particular issue had happened in their life and on what grounds should they be going thru that kinda torment.

FAMILIAR?

In life, many of us are engulfed with constant UPS and DOWNS and at times it gets so bad that depression and hallucinations happens. The person would then indulge in self pitiness and/or maybe even hold on to drinking and smoking and just spending their time away avoiding from facing the world.

But does that really helps?

It does,of cause.
Tested and Proven. haha..

Anyway, it will help but its only for a short period of time.
Lately, life hasn't been any SMOOTH sailing for me either....anything u can think of in life, i have goen thru that in these couple of months. OF cos i did whine about the farked up my life was but then i met someone that made me change everything.

Lets call this person....hmmm...Alfonzo.
*pretty cool name*
Alfonzo basically talked me through many a times on our first meet up.
Alfonzo guided me with advices and talks and how itself actually became to what it was today.Like the saying goes "it doesn't take a day to build ROman". The same goes for this.

After meeting Alfonzo, it taught me to be more independant in life. It taught me that i should not let my emotions topple over me for too long...cos there are more important things in life that should and needed to be done.

One...was to earn money.
and anyone will ask..."Who doesn't want money?"
yup...everybody wants...but how much?
couple of my friends always tell me this "there is never enought money for one person to earn....thats why u must always be happy..." how true...how true...

in all my working life for like what...3yrs? I must say my first job is the one that brought me the most pleasure though my start up pay was low(am still low now) but i shan't complain anything back then. Cause, i had a family there. i was motivated to work hard. i was motivated to give my alll and MORE...i was motivated to bring the company name to glory....but good things always end early. in any case i am glad that i was once part of the family...the family ties among us will always be there....

to you Abecha peeps: i totally miss u guys loads...no amount of words can express the time i had spent with you guys. From each of our birthday surprises...to seeing u work hard for a project...to hearing advices from all of you...till you guys guiding me slowly in the company, thus making the environment a wonderful one. though we are all seperated,i hope your heart is neve being seperated of the times we had spent in Abecha. Take care everyone and hope that the next gathering all of you would make a little effort to attend. :)

and the nxt line of job was in CPR...having one handsome boss that look like tom cruise while having another who has the temper like...like....like...the air? damn...i am bad in descriptioN! what i meant was that he has a very bad-temper lar...*slap forehead*...in any case, then i know a colleague that is like ultra stuck up and like order me so fiercely in assisting her to do data entry....while another was like a happy go lucky girl who jus bumble ard the office....swimming and jogging....3 stranger girls then became close friends but it didn't last long. and another girl name Mel came in...baby of the company and always dancing ard...singing ard to cheer up our day...and yeah, add on the quarreles on the phone she has with her bf and the mushy toks...argh..blahz..eek...in any case, i ended up i am stuck with that ultra stuckup girl...who now ends up to be one of my close girlfriend that i can comfortably tell her anything and get (sometimes) stupid answers from her! -_______-" then again, i still love her...why? cos she is Zen Huan lar! muahhahaa.....

to CPR:
Shannen...tis is our mother...the one who wld never fails to listen to our complains and making sure that we are well taken care in the company. look liks gentle gentle lady...(and she is) but after mixing with us and getting all the stressed up in the company, she has became...ONE OF US! hahahaha....^5 hehehe....*muacks*

Mel...the bubbly girl who never fails to make me laff and always wan to learn how to sing my chinese songs i play so that she can sing along with him in the office(cos zen huan never noes how to sing and if she does i wld think she is ultra er xin.....haha)....songs like "wei ni si de lei"...and she would be like yakking with her boyfriend always....non-stop i tell you! and always being in the toilet with me to re-do our makeup...**giggles**

Zen...this girl is my...i also duno wad u wan me to call her of leh...she is someone i can tell and be comfortable with her. not afraid to be shy nor embarrassed about...cos why? i tink quite alike her...i rem when i first came, she was like stuck up shit..then she tok to me abt satanism that gt me so interested...(nah we are not crazy ppl jus tat she sent me this whole pc of thing tt seriously made sense!!!) and yeah...anyway, Zen i have nothing much to sae to her just that...THANKS FOR BEING THERE FOR ME ALWAYS...ARgggg so mushy!!!

well and now here i am...with another company.
i am really afraid to mention anything much here (still)....just that i dun think i wan to sae nor have anything much to say...just that...hmmmmmmmm....people are not what they are...there are different kinda characters of ppl working now. i have MORE colleagues(which shld add fun..and it does a little) and yet at another times, having just small ppl(like cpr) are awesome...seldom would one get a company where everyone is like family and helps each other out till now (abecha peeps)....*sulks*...am i happy then?

seriously, its tearing me apart abit...but i just wanna hold on.
for what?
i really duno actually...
i mean....hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....lets not tok abt it..
this is a plc i dun wan to be in if i can....but this is also a plc for me to hide away from home proBs...

recently incidents happen at home after my breakup with Mr Lim
Yeah...Mr Lim somehow made my parents be on his side...
Mr Lim showed me what an evil side of a boyfriend can be of that NONE OF MY BOYFRIEND has done so(oh yeah maybe Eric did but...hmmm...he is minor cos only him and his girlfriend (THEN), Claire was attacking me.dumb ass ppl)...it totally made me not want to go home..avoid as much of going home. i noe its NOT NICE and it portray that i am a bad girl....but....for those whom i have spoken too...the pain is super unbearable...i see them and just cannot open my mouth to be telling them anything...each time i wan to sae something, i think abt it ALOT....ALOT....that most of the times i would go out till late...head home n slp.

what happens to me then?
sms-es send to me the nxt dae telling me how bad i am..
seriously, maybe i should not be that nice...afterall being nice doesn't pay in this kinda situation that i am in.

yeah my parents love me...
but like i said before...."they say they are my family....but i question myself on the 'siding family' thing in this whole issue"
Mr Lim totally somehow...got them...i duno...think worse of me?
Its not his fault?
ha...
maybe indirectly he did so?
duno.
but ah fark it..
dun wan sae le...
it just pains my little heart tats all...

okAy i wrote alot today...just wanna pen dwn my thoughts...

now i also duno wad i really wan in life(as in partner).
they all seem bleak...all fake...
i question before:

(1) what is marriage?
then Mr Lim suggested ROM end of this yr when we were in 2mths plus of our rs....and i said "till u can tell me what marriage is about..then we tok abt marriage..cos i dun believe in marriage at this pt of time..." n of cos "whats the pt of us ROM end of the yr! " argh..siao.......

then when the whole rs fail...i ponder on...
(2) what is relationship?

and now? i ask myself only one question "what do u wan to achieve today?"

i also must thank my family and Mr Lim.
Cos after this whole incident...i learnt alot....how shld i put in words?
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm....

I HATE YOU FARKER!
YES I SERIOUSLY HATE UR FARKING FAKENESS AND ALL!
STOP FARKING ACTING LIKE YOU ARE SOME GREAT PERSON...THOSE THAT TREAT U AS A FRIEND IS FARKING STUPID AND DUMB AND I SURE HOPE ALL OF THEM TO LEAVE U SOON! I AM SORRY FOR BEING CRUEL BUT I DUN CARE COS I ALREADY "REN" U ALREADY...FARKING HELL...NBEH NEH DE! SUPER NO MANNERS AND DUNO HW TO THINK MA?

ARGHHH...I SO HATE U!!!!

*phew*
that was a sudden blow...
*phew*
feeling so much better now..
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....well thats all for now...
i have a nice plan planned up this weekend..sure hope its not going to be ruin le..
i sure hope so...

love u all my fRiends...
and i will be strOng....

thats all i see now...
nothing else matters...
and i indulge in hanging out with friends that i use to hang out with...
cos they were the one who brought smiles to me....and held on to me so that i would fall dwn during the worst times of those kinda life that i had then...
thanks alot to them i am wha ti am todae...

enjoy your weekend....
--
Remember that you control your own destiny,
with each choices/decision you made.

So work hard to achieve success and be happy.

Misc stuffs.....
Learning Mr.Q....

Learning Bu De Bu Ai.....
*and i think the female lead singer lost her vocal chord! cos she can go so high!!!!*
Will Pan - 不得不爱 Bu De Bu Ai
天天都需要你爱
我的心思由你猜
i love you
我就是要你让我每天都精彩

天天把它挂嘴边
到底什么是真爱
i love you
到底有几分说得比想像更快

是我们感情丰富太慷慨
还是要上天安排
是我们本来就是那一半
还是舍不得太乖
是那一次约定了没有来
让我哭得像小孩
是我们急着证明我存在
还是不爱会发呆

baby
不得不爱,不知快乐从何而来
不得不爱,放下悲伤从何而来
不得不爱,否则我就失去未来
好象什么尤其不能自己很失败
可是每天都过的精彩

*天天都需要你爱
我的心只有你在
i love you
我就是要你让我每天都精彩

天天把他挂嘴边
到底什么是真爱
i love you
到底有几分说得比想像更快*

RAP
I ask girlfriend how you been
来去了几回 我从来没有想过爱情会变得如此无奈
是命运吗 难道难过是上天的安排 没办法
天天的每天的心思到底由谁来陪 我诚心 你诚意
但周围扰人的环境始终让我们无法在这里自由相恋
我精彩 你发呆 两颗心不安的摇摆 应该有的未来是否真那么的无法期待
舍不得再伤害 You're my girl my girl my friend
How much I love you so so much baby
看着你的哀愁 要我如何怎么承受面对
I'm sorry you're my sweetheart My love My one&only

baby
不得不爱,不知快乐从何而来
不得不爱,放下悲伤从何而来
不得不爱,否则我就失去未来
好象什么尤其不能自己很失败
可是每天都过的精彩

Repeat *

会不会有一点无奈
会不会有一点太快
可是你给我的爱
让我养成了依赖
心中充满爱的节拍

天天都需要你爱
我的心随有你在
i love you
我就是要你让我每天都精彩.

PinYin translation
Will Pan - 不得不爱 Bu De Bu Ai

天天都需要你爱
tian tian dou xiu yao ni ai

我的心思由你猜
wo de xin shi you ni cai

i love you

我就是要你让我每天都精彩
wo jiu shi yao ni rang wo mei tian dou jing cai

天天把它挂嘴边
tian tian ba ta guo zhui bian

到底什么是真爱
dao di shen me shi zhen ai

i love you

到底有几分说得比想像更快
dao di you ji fen shuo de bi xiang xiang geng kuai

是我们感情丰富太慷慨
shi wo men gan qing feng fu tai kang gai

还是要上天安排
hai shi yao shang tian an pai

是我们本来就是那一半
shi wo men ben lai jiu shi na yi ban

还是舍不得太乖
hai shi she bu de tai guai

是那一次约定了没有来
shi na yi chi yue ding le mei you lai

让我哭得像小孩
rang wo ku de xiang xiao hai

是我们急着证明我存在
shi wo men ji ze zheng ming wo chun zai

还是不爱会发呆
hai shi bu ai hui fa dai

baby
不得不爱,不知快乐从何而来
bu de bu ai, bu zhi kuai le chong he er lai

不得不爱,放下悲伤从何而来
bu de bu ai, fang cie bei shang chong he er lai

不得不爱,否则我就失去未来
bu de bu ai, fou zhe wo jiu shi qu wei lai

好象什么尤其不能自己很失败
hao xiang shen me you qi bu neng zhi ji hen si bai

可是每天都过的精彩
ke shi mei tian dou guo de jing cai

*天天都需要你爱
tian tian dou xiu yao ni ai

*我的心思由你猜
wo de xin shi you ni cai

*i love you
*我就是要你让我每天都精彩
wo jiu shi yao ni rang wo mei tian dou jing cai

*天天把它挂嘴边
tian tian ba ta guo zhui bian

*到底什么是真爱
dao di shen me shi zhen ai

*i love you

*到底有几分说得比想像更快
dao di you ji fen shuo de bi xiang xiang geng kuai

RAP
I ask girlfriend how you been

来去了几回 我从来没有想过爱情会变得如此无奈
lai qu le ji hui, wo chong lai mei you xiang guo ai qing hui bian de ru che wu nai

是命运吗 难道难过是上天的安排 没办法
shi ming yun ma, nan dao nan guo shi shang tian de an pai mei ban fa

天天的每天的心思到底由谁来陪 我诚心 你诚意
tian tian de mei tian de xin shi dao di you shui lai pei wo cheng xin ni cheng yi

但周围扰人的环境始终让我们无法在这里自由相恋
dan zhou wei yao ren de huan jin che zhong rang wo men wu fa zai zi li zi you xiang lian

我精彩 你发呆 两颗心不安的摇摆
wo jing cai, ni fa dai, liang ke xin bu an de yao bai,

应该有的未来是否真那么的无法期待
ying gai you de wei lai shi fou zhen na me wu fa qi dai

舍不得再伤害 You're my girl my girl my friend
she bu de zai shang hai, You're my girl my girl my friend

How much I love you so so much baby

看着你的哀愁 要我如何怎么承受面对
kan zhe ni de ai yo, yao wo ru he zeng me cheng shou mian diu

I'm sorry you're my sweetheart My love My one&only

baby
不得不爱,不知快乐从何而来
bu de bu ai, bu zhi kuai le chong he er lai

不得不爱,放下悲伤从何而来
bu de bu ai, fang cie bei shang chong he er lai

不得不爱,否则我就失去未来
bu de bu ai, fou zhe wo jiu shi qu wei lai

好象什么尤其不能自己很失败
hao xiang shen me you qi bu neng zhi ji hen si bai

可是每天都过的精彩
ke shi mei tian dou guo de jing cai

Repeat *

会不会有一点无奈
hui bu hui you yi dian wu nai

会不会有一点太快
hui bu hui you yi dian tai kuai

可是你给我的爱
ke shi ni gei wo de ai

让我养成了依赖
rang wo yang chen le yi lai

心中充满爱的节拍
xin zhong cong man ai de jie pai

天天都需要你爱
tian tian dou xiu yao ni ai

我的心思由你猜
wo de xin shi you ni cai

i love you

我就是要你让我每天都精彩
wo jiu shi yao ni rang wo mei tian dou jing cai



Dream cars with Danny....
http://www.sgcarmart.com/new_cars/auth_car_info.php?AC=542

http://www.sgcarmart.com/new_cars/auth_car_info.php?AC=484

And one fine day....
someone online showed me this...
it totally freaked me out!
somehow it doesnt tell me how effective it should be! >.<"
http://www.puchicollective.com/tutorials/blythetutorials/scalping-sbl-blythes/

well well oh so welll...
this is a boring entry i know but i am just bored and not wanting to leave my butt at the moment so i decided to do this...*sulks*....
iu hate it when thoughts like to run thru my brain...
trying hard to fight for wad i wan..
maybe i should change my brain conceptive in thinking then i would be happier.
i should learn to be happier..
anyone care to help me to do that?
*sulks*

i need to RE-FOCUS my thoughts and mind once again..i so need to do that soon!
arghhh...
*singing....TRY IT ON MY OWN....*
((actually nah...my mp3 is playing Ni Zui ZHen Gui....muahahahaa))

>>old blog updated as welll...

I know its a feeling i should not be feeling....
DISAPPOINTED!
But i just did that!
*sulks*....heart pain...disappointed.

Anyway just some redundant images lar...


these are the books borrowed...


and a pic with my lovely flappy...




then it was cam-whoring in the toilet....



 
anyway today was like a knocked out day...
i think i should just go home and sleep on it..
think lesser on it...

9.40am - reached office

10.10am - left office to go Bugis pick up CD for manager...a guy came up and asked for my number...proclaimed that he saw me twice already...insisted i passed my number to him and i just KINDLY rejected him(still in shock) and took his no. dwn. he did asked when i would sms him and i sae "when i am okay with smsing to u"...anyway the only thing i wan to sms him is to ask issit true he saw me twice...but i am not so stupid..i will use my friend mobile to sms him! muahaha...

10.40am - reached back office in perspiration and only to realise WRONG FILE was burnt into the disc!!! Grrrrrrrrrr....

11.50am - left office to meet YingYing for lunch... and she got me two tops and an earring from Bangkok!!! *sweets*

2pm - made my way back...headed to Raffles toy section and bought Sunday clothes..*upload image soon*

then headed back to office by 2.30pm and rushed proposal write up..
*phew*
just in time to send to manager...
*phew*
hope all goes well...

then the news came in and got me all disappointed.
i think i should learn to stop being so hopeful of things...
cos everytime i let it down...then suddenly it will come and then when i let go it just drops me down again.
*sulks*

hate it..
hate it..

was reading an article on Rachel's blog..
that i can relate to it...


「 Stepping stone 」
why why why!!
i juz realised

















i've been a stepping stone to most guys!
buaya aside of coz
i'm a 1st to both my ex..













then being guys
they wake up one day n realise..
'hey! i havent played enough...
been too serious all these while..
its time i move on!'














and ta-da~!
i'm outta their lives before i know it
sometimes i wonder y i even bother..
what for?














people change
surrounding change
feelings change
its tiring spendin time and effort to get to know somebody
loving and caring for the person
putting in ur heart n soul..
only to be cast aside when they had enough..












y do we bother trying so hard?
again n again n again
till we find the right one?














wo zhen de shou shang le..~

不是怕爱, 只是宁愿等待 7:23 PM


*ps: those using LiveJournal, any idea how i can add my friends link on my webpage?

Oh...i did work...at work(of cos).
.
.
.
argh...fark with the "crap timetable of my day"

anyway, bumped into evonne(yes yes girl u SHOCKED ME!and here also never comment for me lo! hmpfz...oh oh email me your url cos i forgot le giggles) and also Chufang...haha...well well..kana suan for holding a DREAMWEAVER guide book...*sulks* I AM LEARNING OKAY. i am slow learner so wanna start from scratch...the problem is...WHO KNOWS D DIFFERENCE BTWN CSS and HTML ar?

Was having dinner withy Tecky.
Its been some time since we last met and i must say its an awesome dinner and talks that we both never got to have...hope all would be well for him soon...JIAYOU!

Okay, so back home like 10.50pm...
Flipped thru the newspaper abit...
Catched some lame low production on Channel 5 and headed to my com...
installed the DREAMWEAVER onto my com and only to realise that its not as easy to start from scratch! i just need to get the hang of it actually...muahahhaa...*complain complain complain*

So Chris was angry that i was saying him bad on my blog...stating to me that HIS FRIEND chanced upon my blog(what a kaypo friend he got..or should i sae an INFORMATIVE FRIEND HE HAS) and told him abt wad i wrote....yada things like he never treat her bad...and asking me to stop writing abt him and lilo as he dun wan others to know of it..

argh fark it lar eh...
like i sae "its my blog, i write what i wan as long as i dun touch issues on my company and government issues...the rest..ITS UP TO ME...dun like either dun read it or get ur blog and shoot me back" Seriously i duno why some people just like to do one thing and then act another?

Sms me in the morning how he wans to let go of the relationship.
Then night sms me say how we should "talk abt it"...
Then coming onto my blog and typing how he loved me...
Ar...crap it de lar eh...
*stupid*

Hmm....anyway these are the images i took with Kendra back on Sunday lar.
And yeah Kendra was like looking cutsie on the baby chair but somehow her patience ran low when she gets ultra bored...so i took out my linglongs from my handphone and pass it to her...see how happy she is now! hahaha...


yeah and now we went into the car and she was like crying away NONSTOP cos she hated being buckled up! argh....pampered girl...so i just took pics of her lar..hahaha...


And lastly, she was like whining so much..showing me that sad face of hers and so i showed her mine as well...muahaha...


And now more pics on Lilo.... *sulks....aye Ling ar...dun ask me abt her can..damn sad already lo...sigh....*

At my house....


Then back at Antz and Steph.Koh place...
Yeah thats Lilo and stunned Ayden...


and finally Lilo looking tired and falling aslp before i sent her home...


*sigh*
i sure miss lilo....

Anyway i am ULTRA BORED and tired...(waiting for times up to call my friend...)
So i shall do some questionaire...
((hey shouldnt i be spending more time donig something useful? ar freak it...just relax eh hehee..))

*Anger Section*
1. what do you do when you're angry?
> i start to keep quiet...then if opp knocks i would complain here n there and ultimately just cry. *shrugs* weird me.

2. what's the worst thing you've done when you were angry?
> i think would be to take a paper, and then draw circles and dot inside the circles many a times making loads of "pounding" noise onto the table that the office people could hear my angry....

3. ever made anyone cry when you were mad?
> i dun think so wor....*brains abit dead..cant really remember*

4. ever physically hurt someone when you were mad?
> nod.nod.nod.nod....

5. do you curse when you're mad?
> HEY TIS IS DEFINATELY LO!

*Crying Section*
1. last time you cried your heart out ?
> Sunday.

2. ever cried yourself to sleep?
> yar...been doing that for the last mth or so?

3. ever cried on your friend's shoulder?
> of cos lar....i think the last i did cry on someone's shoulder was....darn i dun remember cos i learned to cry at hm le...

4. do you cry when you get an injury?
> ha...it all depends on how serious it is and if i am sober. haha.

5. do certain songs make you cry?
> absolutely!

*Pain Section*.
1. what's the worst thing you've done to somebody else?
> i think there are many things of WORSE i did...and just thinking off my small tired brain...one of them would be to choose another person over him...that i hurt this friend un-intentionally and i did not understand why he was angry and not wanting to tok to me and only to realise it couple of yrs later that he had treated me as his gal back then...and i tot it was just on a "no commitment rs" then.

2. how depressed can you get?
> starve myself and just injecting only -ve tots inside me...lost of slp...lost of concentration and the list goes on...

Happy Section*
1. how much do u smile?
> when i am around people i try to smile always...

2. what can make you happy?
> anything....nice and sweet and original.(i am easy to please)

3. do you wish you were happier?
> happiness can never be measured...its up to individual and as for me...yes i wish to be happier...VERY!

4. what about being with your friends, does that make u happy?
> certain friends i know have disappointed me in their actions and thinking while some have made me realise that at my down pt, they were the one there to guide me along and i appreciate it that alot..i learnt how to choose my friends to hang out and who to just contact....its very different if one can look on a bigger scale that sometimes u treat this person nice, they just dun appreciate? So wads the pt in i waste my time on this friend as i might as well bother to care more for other friends who are willing to care for me and be there for me when i need them.

*Love Section*.
1. have you ever loved someone so much, that you'd die for them?
> i said this kinda thing before but if i were to sit and listen DEEP and LOOK CLOSER...i would say i am dumbed to think of such and the ans is "no"...i think the only person would be my husband lo.

2. did you ever love a person, and tell him/her that you love him/her?
> yuppy!

3. have you loved someone so much, it made you cry?
> yuppy!

4. has anyone besides your friends and family ever said 'i love you' to you?
> nod.nod.nod....

*Hate Section*
1. have you ever hated any one that broke your heart?
> i think i hated couple of them...but as time went i think the hatred just disappeared...everyone makes mistakes and must be forgiven of it.

2. do you hate Bush?
> for wad? -__________-"

*Self-Esteem Section*
1. is your self-esteem extremely low?
> now? its a medium range....just making sure it doesnt drop any lower.

2. do you believe in yourself?
> i think so ar...hahaha. Need to find my path again.

3. what do you say when people say they think you are good looking/pretty?
> i say "i think u are blind lo...."

4. are you one of those idiots that think they are ugly, dumb, and fat?
> no lar...i am not so BAD LOOKING all right!

5. ever wanted to kill yourself cuz you thought you weren't good enough?
> yes! yes! yes! everyone will feel this way(if u are human tat is) hehehe...

6. are you happy with who you are?
> i think so...cos i am improving myself day by day and making my time more useful(not now that i am doing this questionaire...hahaha)

Rushed and went to meet SL at the MRT station to go home.
HA.
Someone actually asked to know more about me and my colleague.
faint.
we do outshine the pretty part-timers a little leh...
muahaha..

After work today went to the JE and saw my tangmei...
I am SO GOING TO GO OVER THERE TOMORROW TO GET MY FREE FOOD!
muahahaha....

Rushed to the lib and met up with Danny...
Was really dumbed and i needed help to find the books that i wanted...
YEAH YEAH YEAH!
Happy Little Trixy walking around carrying two thick book acting like some STUDIOUS kid.
ha.
its been ages since i am going to start "studying".
hahaha...

Anyway, gave Danny a treat for accompanying me and helping me to find my books..
*hahhaa..its using KFC Coupon lar hahahaa*
and also cos i had ultra GOOD LUCK today!
*giggles*

Admist dinner, an sms came from Chris.
asking am i angry and that he was angry.
asking as well if i did get to see the image..

well this is the image...
he did it when he was in Tasmania...
that like in March when we just got together

.

Anyway then Miss Beeny needed my help thus picked me up at JE and we went to do his stuffs.
How funny people are not able to give proper direction to where they live at..
hahaha..

Headed home after that, showered and went online awhile..
Chat a little...
Edit a little...
Think a little...

Then i cried upon seeing the video of Lilo..
*sulks*

Off the computer...
Sent SMS...
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

Sunday...
the TIME that i have been waiting for long...
turned my morning to be super horrible!

Eyes were opened at 9.22am to find that there were no calls nor SMS on where is Lilo.
Smsed sent...
"its been 2 hrs and i have not seen Lilo...wru?"
.
.
.
.
5mins later...
.
.
.
*di di*
an SMS came in...
.
.
.
.
"i have something v important to do...will not be brining her over"

WHAT THE HELL!?
faster rang up and a sleepy voiced picks up the phone...
.
.
.
.
chris: yar? *sniffs*

me: what u mean u have something important and cant bring her over? why cant u tell me earlier?

chris: yar....

me: its okay lar..i will go and bring her over...

chris: HUH!? then how u send her back later?

me: send her back lar..wad u mean HOw?

chris: ar...*heaves an ULTRA BIG SIGH*

me: what yar? i am asking u why u cant tell me earlier you canot bring her over?

chris: yar...(sounding on a heck care pek chek attitude)

me: i am asking you...why u cant tell me earlier? u had this planned all along right?

*SILENCE*

me: i am waiting for an answer...

chris: why must i listen to you?!

me: i never ask you to listen to me! u are the one who sms and then later call me to confirm u are bringing her over yourself lo!

*SILENCE*

me: so i am asking you...can ans?

chris: WHAT!?

me: what thing what? i am asking issit you plan this all along? u just dun wan me to see Girl Girl right!?

after MUCH REPEATING of myself for another min or so...

chris: not really....

me: not really?! oh okay..nvm..i dun wan to see her...bye.

*kup the phone*
how much hurt i got thru that conversation.
went to tell my parents and decided to pack every SINGLE things of his in my house only with the words ringing...

DUN BE SO CHILDISH LAR!
he wan then he would come and take his things back.

WTH!?
AM I LIKE HEARING WRONGLY??
NO! definately not!
it so broke my heart...

went to the room and cried buckets only to have my mom coming in and scolding me on why am i crying when i was the one who initiated this whole breakup and not want a patch back n here i am crying...

i got so pissed...
so pissed i retorted back...

seriously, why dun they have him as a son while me as a stranger?
how to forgive when they are saying its my bloody fault?
they can forgive a STRANGER who sms me "u r a fucking bitch like what other people say about u"
and take and BELIEVE that he is cos angry so say angry words...oh wth!
dun come tok shit with me.
if u really love me, u would NEVER EVER say that to me...NEVER.

finally packed within like half hour and went crying nonstop.
the pain was so much for me...
i felt so homeless..
i felt so helpless...
a gazillion strangers can care for me..(friends etc) but as long as my FAMILY does not.
i feel totally lost n helpless.

got changed and headed out to Taman Jurong to have lunch.
it was my Dad's bdae celebration...

then headed back and cut cake...
took some pics...(dun feel like uploading those pics)

and was surfing my net before leaving to return Chris his things at home when an sms came in.
it was from him.
asking if i wanted to him to bring Lilo to my place...
i jus replied stating that i did not want to make any decision in case that i might be wrongly accused again.
then he made the decision himself to bring her over.
.
.
.
.
went down and picked her up and she was licking and sniffing me nonstop..
oh my god!
i have not seen her since 12th august!
*sulks*
missed her so much and just went up the lift with a faint GOODBYE.
nope...
i did not ask him up...
i was already tired from all the quarrels and shits i have been treated of one moment nice and the next ugly...
.
.
.
.
but Lilo was not acting all good at all..
NOTHING.
she was showing sad and pain in her eyes.
it totally breaks our heart...
lets just see the images and video lar eh...









































and the videos....





finally made the decision to send her back home.
abit stupid also..
want to put her at my place but never bring her box, her bed, her toys, and her cage then when i go work the nxt day how she going to survive!?

was sent to Step.koh place and as usual, Lilo was afraid of Amber....
but Amber in return was so happy to see Lilo...
muahahaa...
talked....
took some pics...

then they (anthony my cousin and his wife Steph.Koh) together with Amber followed me walk to Chris place to return Lilo and also his clothes...
.
.
.
.
.
saw San San, Airle and Cookie...
its been ages since i saw them...
missing them so much...
and Lilo?
she stood one corner not knowing what to do...
at that point i just wanted to bring her home...
i cannot bear to see her suffer...
i cannot....
a princess have to always be a princess!!!

then...

me: here ur clothes...and i return Lilo cos she is not used to my place already.

chris: ah...orh...*looks at me* then where u going...

me: going out dinner with anthony...

chris: oh..okay...

and i faster went back but only to have the 3 dogs following me!
arghhh...
then i had to drag one by one back into the house...
Chris would normally call them back but he did not this time...
i duno why.

anyway then i walked to the lift only from my side eye to see that Chris was looking on...
wad was he looking at?
that if i was with someone else?
i was safely reached at the lift?
i dun care...

went down feeling like smtg is being lifted off my back.
walked back with them before bidding them bye to get a cab to town...
and Chris sms me...severtal things...

"can we talk things out?"
.
.
.
"y isit that u wan tp push away all your love one and ppl who lov eu away? u push away me now lilo why u wanna do this? do u noe the moment when u bring all my clothes over i m v upset. yes i m crying now!"
.
.
.
.
*messages all ignored*
.
.
.
.
"can u come and bring lilo back?"

is there really a pt answering all of those?
seriously i just wan him to treat Lilo like how my parents and we all been treating her when she is at my place...thta difficult ma? then if so...why did he bring her back? just cos my mom ask him to do so? where his back-bone!!

met up with Miss Beeny and headed down to have dinner at Sakae Sushi.
then he accompanied me downstairs my place...
i just had so many thoughts running thru me...
and i jus know that...i did not want to go home.

he left within 10mins while i sat there staring blankly and with many thoughts running thru me...

headed back up after cousin R smsed and asked me to go home...

washed up and immediately fell straight to bed...

yes, i should be happy that i saw Lilo...
but you duno...
it hurts to see her being detached away from you...
it hurts alot...

would Chris just one day come to my place and place ALL HER THINGS at my place and let Lilo be with me forever?

he noes and have said before that he can survive without Lilo but he knows i canot...i have moved my life but i still wan Lilo to be with me throughout....it hurts...i am so sad...so heart pain...

Four words : i want to puke!
(as per my conversation with Danny on the looks of him hahaha...)

**random pics taken some time backk....


Woke up at 9.30am...
LATE LATE LATE!
was super late so $2.50 assisted me to reach my destination earlier....





But i still zoomed dwn in cab and got myself two stuffs!
Muahaha..
A black dress and a jumpersuit.
*Giggles*
am a sudden killer for jumpersuit can!
*muahahhaaa*

done my stuffs and hung around and bumped into...yes, CHRIS!
He was with San-d and her BB Raine.
Somehow the sudden bump into him was...weird.
But i just smile n beat him goodbye.
.
.
.
.
ONLY to know later that he was UPSET that i did not sae BYE to him...
-___________________-"
i did mumble a BYE to him wad...
and later smsing me..
"Meeting your guy friend?"
.
.
.
.
"Good for u that guy not bad looking"
and its like WTH why he sms me such sms for wad?
-________________-"
and i told him stop being so DOH lo...like why must u come and tell me this?
and only to make it realise that HE DID NOT SEE ANY GUY AT ALL LO! AND HE JUST ANYHOW SAY LO!....wth leh.

And he still can reply me(when i sae stop being so childish)...
WHAT the fuck u talking about. Don be stupid. u wan to do wat up to u is not my fucking problem.

and OH SO WELL if its NOT HIS FUCKING PROBLEM then why did he have to come and tell me one thing and tell San-d that he is very very upset?

why can't a guy jus admit to his real self of feeling?
is this called egoistic?!
-_________-"

anyway something happened and i headed to Newton mrt feeling NOT GOOD.
du lan.
ended up at Danny place...
eat my mac...
re-watch the rhino story that i watched earlier before...
and took Shermaine things to take pics...muahaha...





...and now watching JAPAN ASIA and we might be going for SUSHI!!!
YEAH! YEAH!
we shall see....

and i did lotus reading...
how true?
*sulks*

how you feel about yourself now
You feel a need for harmony and balance in your life and indeed are starting to feel that some peace has already been restored. If you have been through some tough times, such as a break up of a relationship or financial problems, peace will be restored. However if you are still experiencing problems, this is a time for calm, careful control and patience and you will soon have a sense of normality again.

what you most want at this moment
The cards suggest Little Evil Fairy, that what you most want at this time is some clarity and less of these confused emotions that leave you fearful and vulnerable. You want to know the outcome, because you are so unsure about how you feel. Use your intuition to guide you away from any deception and ride this out - it will turn out alright in the end. The Moon is a good omen if you are in a clandestine affair.

your fears
You are afraid that the conclusions you’ve been wanting are delayed and fear any far-reaching changes ahead. Perhaps things aren’t turning out quite as you expected for some reason - this is a period when your routine will be changed dramatically. Fear not, although events will seem to be moving at a real pace, any choice you make will change life for the better. If you are worried about any legal issues chances are they will be ruled in your favour.


what is going for you
Drive, drive, drive, that’s what’s going for you. You certainly aren’t a quitter that’s for sure. The appearance of The Chariot tells of conflicts ending in victory, so don’t give up, battle on and you will succeed. This is a time of movement and change. Expect a journey relating to work, and if you’ve had you’re eye on that car, it will soon be yours.

what is going against you
You are simply struggling to conform to others expectations of you and everybody has an opinion of what you should do. Perhaps you are having a crisis of faith and are unsettled at a very spiritual level. Ask yourself who you really are? What is important to you? What makes you happy? Seek out advice or wise counsel if you wish, but accepting who you really are and going after what you want instead of what others want for you is the most important.

outcome
This is a time of good luck and fortune, perhaps after a period of struggle and heartache. Good health, possibly after a time of illness, and good fortune that will give you a new zest of life. If considering a new love affair, new job or career, or travel, then go for it. You may also receive a gift or gifts!

Anyway, back to the REAL TIME in life...
FINALLY the decision was made and Danny and i headed down to Sakae Sushi to eat...
and i end up giving up in winning my LITERATI lo cos its wad damn late and we had to rush for our dinner!!!
We were the second last and gobbled our food while waiting for Jeffery and Estella to come....


Thats wad the bth of us ate!
GLUTTON!!

By the time the two came down, we had already finished...
Paid up and left to 24hrs coffeeshop to EAT MORE
muahahaa..
zhu zhu zhu zhu....



And i seriously know its SUPER LAME to be taking pictures at a coffeeshop but its been AGES since i have seen these people in my life and its an opportunity not to be missed!!








.....was so nice just sitting there and chatting(okay i was doing most of the talking lar...sori lar....complaining wad...and u all wan to kNow wad happened too de ma..*giggles) and ended with ngoh hiang, and ice milo-es. kopi-si, green tea and beehoon seen on the table too...

we all missed the times mambo-ing (yeah i duno and i just tag along on their dance movesss...)...and Danny suggested we all go back to change and then head down to Double O since the night was still young...TEMPTED as i was but u noe lar...my mom! -__________-"

headed home.
and had a "conversation" with my mom...
SO NOT GOOD..cos she sae i was NOT UNDERSTANDING the situation and said i was childish...
ARGGGggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....

SO so so...
came back and somehow Zen sure has her way with her words that is something for me to learn as well...

I agree, you have to meet all your basic needs before you can sincerely give your love. One who is not stable, might tend to find what he/she is lack of and demand those from their partner... If you are "needy" you demand attention, if you are poor, you want your partner to be rich, so you need not suffer... In a way, it is making use of, and the love is not sincere.

When you are emotionally stable, physiologically, meet basic needs of what everyone should have (i.e. sense of security, sense of belonging etc) , than you are ready to love in the most sincere and genuine manner.


Its over..
i shall try to sleep on it and i am having butterflies in my tummy cos i am soooo excited to see Lilo tmr!
*muacks*muacks*muacks*muacks*muacks*muacks*
i so wanna give her and also...
*hugs*hugs*hugs*hugs*hugs*hugs*hugs*hugs*hugs*
....
giggles....